About Families First

Race to Nowhere

Families First was pleased to present the film Race to Nowhere, in which concerned mother-turned-filmmaker Vicki Abeles aims her camera at the high stakes, high-pressure culture that has invaded our schools and our children’s lives. It is a call to action for families, educators, and policymakers to challenge current assumptions on how to best prepare the youth of America to become healthy, bright, contributing, and leading citizens.

Facilitator Dr. Catherine Steiner-Adair provided the following words of guidance for parents:

Children respond to stress, anger, insecurity, and other difficult feelings in a variety of ways. Some schools have included teaching social and emotional learning in their curriculum and have seen positive changes in the culture of the school (e.g., less bullying, more empathetic behavior). This knowledge and awareness helps everyone to make better choices for themselves as they navigate the world.
Offer your child help with creating a list of things they can do to relax. When they get angry, frustrated, or frantic, remind them of the list.
Try to focus on active listening and providing empathy when your children share details of their lives. Although it may be tempting, resist the impulse to try to solve all of your child's problems for her. This will increase the likelihood that your child will share with you when she is feeling stressed or has a problem.
After listening to what your children are feeling, you might say, “You know, I think I might have some ideas for how you can get better results. Maybe take a break and we can talk later if you’re interested. Just let me know.”
Be mindful of how you talk about other children in your community when they are facing hardship or troubles. Your child will be listening very closely to your reaction and your reaction will likely influence whether your child will come to you when he/she is facing adversity. It is helpful for your child to get the message that the child in question is experiencing an adversity they will need to overcome with support. It does not define that child forever.

Dr. Steiner-Adair is an internationally recognized clinical psychologist, school consultant, and author. She has consulted with over 350 independent and public schools, parents, and students on a wide range of topics related to strengthening children's social and emotional development, shaping school culture, and deepening parents' connections to their children.

Tips for Parents from the makers of Race to Nowhere:

Discuss what success means to your family. Do your actions as a family reflect your values?

Reduce performance pressure.

Allow your children to make mistakes and learn from them.

Talk with your children about their experiences in school.

Know the signs of childhood depression. Follow your instincts.

Attend school board meetings and other venues where education is discussed and policies are established and reinforced.

Form alliances and organize other parents to join you. As a group, talk to your children's teachers and school administrators, and attend school board meetings.

Challenge accepted homework practices and policies and the imposition of state and national standards that have narrowed curricula.

Advocate for a later start time in high school.

Eat dinner regularly as a family.

Make the college search about finding the right fit rather than finding the "best" college. Finding the right fit will ensure college success and retention.

For more resources go to www.endtherace.org