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| 15 Timeless Tips from Families First Parenting Programs |
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- Try to figure out who owns the problem: the parent or child. Allowing children to come up with creative solutions to their own problems helps them become self-reliant, independent individuals. Remember that the more we do for our children, the less they do for themselves.
- Susan Marx
- Focus on your child when you are listening and talking with him or her. Show respect by not answering the phone or doing something else at the same time.
- Nina Dickerman
- Plan a regular family meeting time to talk about things that are going on. Treat it like a real meeting and have an agenda that all members of the family set. Regular meetings are a good way to share good news, make plans, and discuss issues and concerns at a time when there is no crisis at hand.
- Candelaria Silva
- If you can't find the words, or the right time to talk to your teenager, write a letter. Leaving letters in backpacks in the morning or under bedcovers at night is a way to explain something, apologize, or just tell your child that you love him or her.
- Beth Fredericks
- When the school year begins, write a letter to your child's teacher. Mention some unique qualities about your child and encourage the teacher to communicate with you on a regular basis. Writing an introductory letter is a great way to open a line of communication and to set the expectations for your child. Who knows your child's personality, temperament, and habits better than you, the parent?
-Candelaria Silva
- Play the game..."What's the best thing that happened to you today?" Parents go first, modeling a thoughtful and honest response. This is an interesting and low-key way to learn about each other's day in a non-confrontational manner.
- Marilyn Buckler
- Talk less, listen more.
- Linda Braun
- Take a parent "time out" as a wonderful way to "cool down" before addressing difficult situations.
- Roz Levy
- Adjust your approach to your child(ren) according to each one's stage of development and temperament. Don't worry if you aren't perfect all the time when trying out new disipline techniques or using new communication skills... your child(ren) will be sure to give you another chance to try again.
- Nina Dickerman
- Never feel that you have to respond immediately to a difficult or uncomfortable question your child may ask. Let your child know that you need some time to think of a good response.
- Susan Marx
- Try to avoid always rescuing or protecting your child from failure, adversity, or a challenge if he or she is not in danger or in harms way. When you allow a child to "fight his or her own battles" you foster self-confidence, self-assurance, and self-esteem.
- Adam Mintz
- With teenagers, you have to give respect to get respect. Make time to listen to their music. Extend your exposure to movies, TV shows, and any other opportunities to join in on your teen's pop culture chioces. This is a unique opportunity to gain insight into your child's world and show respect for a teenager's interests.
- Beth Fredericks
- Keep a running log of all the bright and wonderful things your child says and does. Date the entries and add your comments. When you have a challenging day with your child, take out the journal and read some excerpts. They will bring a smile to your face and help you deal with those difficult days.
- Gail Blumengarten
- Find comfort in connecting. If you have a concern about you child, share it with others. You may get some good advice. At the very least, you will have the opportunity to vent and possibly find other parents who are experiencing the same challenges.
- Yvette Thomas
- When you feel frustrated or angry about your child's behavior, "Be curious, not furious." Take a deep breath and try to figure out why it is happening.
- Linda Braun
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